Planetary Transits Calendar April 2025 (First Half)
The month that whispers secrets in the voice of a drunken librarian
(From the watchtower where Sagittarius Mercury translates chaos into parables and Scorpio Venus files each wound in velvet folders)
April arrives with three cosmic notifications:
Saturn-Uranus created a WhatsApp group to overthrow systems
Mercury direct recovered the deleted files... but they're in .sacred format
Venus-Full Moon inaugurates an exhibition of dissected hearts titled: "Sorry, It Was Karma"
🔒 For paid subscribers: How these transits filter through:
Scorpio Sun-Sagittarius Neptune: The detective who solves crimes with epic poetry
Sagittarius Mercury: The wandering philosopher translating chaos into flammable parables
Scorpio Jupiter: The archivist cataloging every wound with Dewey Decimal numbers
"We're not chaos spectators... we're its underpaid translators"
